My Thoughts

Fail to Succeed

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“I have not failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

Failure. Man’s biggest fear and what most try a lifelong journey to avoid. It’s not so much the event, but more so the sting and disgrace when it does happens. But who said temporary pain is always bad, in fact, what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger, or at least, that’s what they say. What most people do not realize is the bittersweet secret of failure may keep them from becoming truly successful. If it were not for failure, we would hardly see great success. Most people are not just lucky enough to get it right the first time.

With success books filling business best-seller lists, very little is ever mentioned about failure. I guess I could understand that failure does not make for glamorous conversational pieces.

With unemployment rates at an all-time high in the past few years, Corporate America is worried for their job. Sometimes it takes a closed door for people to finally get uncomfortable enough to take a chance.

Albert Einstein once said “you cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” Failure will wake you up to solve new problems by giving you a new level of thinking.

 

Why People Don’t Succeed

Fear is the strongest emotion of all. Most people will stay in their comfortable job dictated by the fear of failure. They might be sitting on the next big idea, however, their chance of failure, even if it was calculated risk, will keep them from making their dream become any glimpse of reality. The limiting belief of being failure-free not only keeps us from failing, it keeps us from succeeding.

Once we understand that we are totally responsible for our own actions or inactions, we can be motivated to take control. The biggest problem is that most people don’t take the time to define exactly what it is that you want. Fear is perpetuated time again when you’re unsure of what you really want. It’s easy to quit when you were never sure it was for you or not.

Napoleon once said, “he who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.”

 

Stay on Course

One of the greatest myths is that it takes only hard work to be successful. Before you jump out with the sharks, first figure out which pond you want to swim in. Perseverance is important, but bouncing back on the right track is even more important.

Our focus should be set in the right course that suits both our affinity and ability. Someone who is tone-deaf should not strive to be a professional singer no matter how passionate they might seem. Likewise, just because you have a special talent, without passion, you are quick to quit once the first major roadblock happens. Merge these coupling with right timing in the market and opportunity, whether given or created, and you found your sweet spot as an entrepreneur.

Virtually every goal is achievable once you start treating failure as a lesson learned instead of a dead end. Most people will end up quitting when they are just a few yards from the end zone without ever realizing how close they were. The most mentality of the most successful entrepreneurs is not if they will succeed, it is just a matter of how soon it will happen.

 

Lifelong Learners

Learning is cognitive and experimental. The school of hard knocks will teach you more about business than any business school can. When both are being done simultaneously, peak learning is taken place.

“Nobody strives to be a failure. At the same time, there’s no better education for an entrepreneur than failure,” says Nicholas Hall, serial entrepreneur and founder of Startupfailures.com.

Personal development guru, Anthony Robbins, suggest that the ability to act through personal power is the foundation of success. That is what separates the great from the good. They are able to take action because they have unlimited themselves from the fear of failure and pushed forward boldly and strategically. Robbins teaches the principle of ‘CANI’ (constant and never-ending improvement) for life and business as part of your path to success.

The fear of failure can be overcome by anyone who changes his or her way of thinking. Treating failure as a lesson learned, instead of mistakes to be quickly forgotten, will get you in the right mindset to get started and will be able to make you do things beyond your present ability. Failure is part of success; those who try to avoid failure will avoid success.

I know personally for me, I’ve failed many times over before I was able to get it right. I had the focus and mindset that I was never going to give up until I finally made it. And it was that sort of perseverance was what has made me successful.


Some Pretty Big Failures

Thomas Edison who is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S patents to his name. When he was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own, he tried more than 9,000 experiments before he created the first successful light bulb.

Walter Disney was American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, and animator. Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. A newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas in film production during his first press conference. The Walt Disney Company now makes average revenue of $30 billion annually.

Henry Ford’s first two automobile companies failed. That did not stop him from incorporating Ford Motor Company and being the first to apply assembly line manufacturing to the production of affordable automobiles in the world. His combination of mass production, high wages and low prices to consumers has initiated a management school known as “Fordism”. He became one of the three most famous and richest men in the world during his time.

Akio Morita, founder of giant electric household products, Sony Corporation, first product was an electric rice cooker, only sold 100 cookers because it burned rice rather than cooking. That didn’t stop him from trying. Today, Sony is generating $66 billion in revenue and ranked as the world’s 6th largest electronic and electrical company.

My Perfectionism Disorder

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What most people would love to have to be more goal-oriented, provide better quality output, or have a higher standard in life, I think over the past year, I have nearly perfected the art of perfectionism. My life is so balanced, so routine, that when I deviate anything elsewise, I get disheartened, uneasy, and strive to be even more perfect. I tend to forget to enjoy the moment and the greater things in life as I’m always striving for something more. I need contentment.

After doing much research, I’ve learned the problems of perfectionism and have slowly seen it seep through in all aspects of my life. I will not get close to many people because I don’t want them to see any of my imperfections. I have not only an unrealistic expectation for myself, but it’s downfall is that I do the same unknowingly for other people, as well. Biblically, perfectionist tend to be more like Pharisees. “You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.” (Matthew 23:24) We tend to nit-pick on all the small mistakes of ourselves and others, we most of the time miss the bigger picture altogether.

Although I claim to overcome the fear of failure, but I live my life never wanting to never make any small mistake, which in turn, never sets me up for any failure. Perfectionism is paralyzing. At times we perfectionists are aware that we fight a losing battle. We know that our best efforts can never produce our idealistic dreams. “Even if I’m good at this,” we think, “I may not be very good; I may not be the best.”

Afraid of not winning all the battles, we win none of them. Afraid of not being the very best, we fail to achieve our personal best. Unwilling to put up with life’s frequent imperfections, we experience little of life’s just-as-frequent joys.

I have a problem…there…I finally realized I had one to admit it. But I’m not going to sit there and complain, I’m going to do something about it. Perhaps this is me trying to perfect the imperfections of perfectionisms, but I know what I need to do to overcome this. So, today, I am spending the entire week trying to be imperfect. I have made a “Screw up list” to try and make as many mistakes, get out of my everyday norm, and just live life imperfectly…

Memorable trip in Dallas

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I just got back a 4-day trip to Dallas meeting with Bob Roberts, Jr. and the rest of the Northwood Church team. The trip started Thursday night meeting David Grubbs picking me up at the airport and grabbing dinner with Bob’s son, Ben Roberts. We all headed over to a website launch party on the top of the Dallas Convention Center. The site was called Roov and I got a chance to meet some new folks and the owners of the site.

Friday morning I got the chance to meet the rest of the Northwood and Glocal Ventures team at Northwood Church. Saturday afternoon, Bob picked me up and we spent the afternoon together and then later picked an incredible man who is destined to be the future President of Malawi in 2009. I get the privilege to have a one-on-one dinner with this man of God on Saturday night. We laughed and got the chance to get to know him at a deeper, more personal level.  Due to his protection, I can’t disclose his name.

Sunday I went to all three Northwood Sunday services and grab a quick lunch afterwards with Bob’s family and Omar. I believe there will be great synergy with our ministry and theirs. They are on the forefront of making a real impacting all over the world. Their methods are far from mundane or unoriginal, for they are re-shaping the way missionary work has been done in the past few decades. Their progress and effectiveness in the nations they have already reached are not only changing society and the nation, but are all soundly biblical, as well.

If my father was still here today

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Today, marks the day of 12 years since my father’s sudden heart attack right before my eyes. Today, I celebrate 12 years of my father’s time with me here on earth. Today, I honor another 12 years of my life without an earthly father but celebrate those same 12 years with a perfect, Heavenly Father. Today, I’m thankful for 12 years of chosen dependence and another 12 years of unchosen independence. Growing up without a father adds several years to your life or can take away several more. In the crossroads of our life where circumstances you’d never expect hit you harder than you’d ever think, we always have two choices: to grow and gain or to wither and withdraw.

My father was 15 years older than my mother. He was a man that was relentless and fearless. He didn’t speak a lot, but his actions spoke louder than any words could. He was a leader and a fighter. He was a Colonel in the Army to fight for freedom for a nation he loved. He lived a tough life and had a tougher wife. My mom never compromised, nor conformed. She always sacrificed what was right and what was best for the family. Just after my father’s death, she worked two full time jobs over 80 hours a week. She did this while raising 3 kids and being a committed leader in the church. I am thankful to have two incredible, supporting role models.

Although my father is not with me today, his death brought me new life. There isn’t a day where I don’t think about my father. There isn’t a day where I am not inspired to achieve greater goals and to dream bigger dreams because of him. There isn’t a day where I find refuge in trying to add more value in other people’s life. There will never be a day where my father’s death won’t stretch me or inspire me to be better. There will never be a day as hard as it was seeing my father pass right before my eyes.

If my father was still here today, I would probably be living life in a comfortable bubble. I wouldn’t have the courage to be a change agent when needed and I would be limited by my own selfish desires. I would be still working on a lifelong goal to overcome my fears. I would still be a leader, but for the wrong reasons, inspired out of my gain for power, fame, or fortune. I would still be shy and timid. I would have no desire to change the world, for I would think the world revolves around me. Good would mean doing things right, not doing the right things.

To my father who’s looking down from Above, that although I’ve fallen hard many times and have been through even more hardships, I am thankful for you, who gives me strength and courage each day to quickly stand right back up and run even harder. My life would not be the same without you, and would not be the same with, and for this reason, I feel blessed.

Dad, I pray that one day I can live up to whom you always dreamed for me to be…

RIP Phu Quoc Nguyen
Always be in my heart.
4.11.95

Freedom from Greed

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No one ever admits they are greedy. Why is that? They will admit they have an alcohol problem, gambling problem, maybe even domestic abuse problem. But when it comes to money, no one ever openly admit they have a problem.

Is it because it’s socially acceptable? Maybe even a little bit of expected in the professional industry? Especially in my industry – Internet Marketing.

So what’s the solution to greed? BEING GENEROUS.

I think being generous is liberating and with the right mindset, will help you realize that all of our possessions isn’t even ours in the first place. I would hate to work my whole life for worldly toys and bring none of it up with me. It’s funny how when it comes to spending, we will always make room to buy that nice toy when we don’t even have money (throw it on credit). But when someone else needs a hand, we will always make excuses to how we don’t have enough money.

I think if we save aside a percentage of our income to those who really need it, I think we will make room to give generously. I’m glad I’ve came to a realization sooner than later…

One month to live

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After nailing my group presentation, my professor gently speaks to the 30 students in our class with tearied eyes and a somewhat anguished face and says, “Most of you guys know that my wife is pretty ill. Well, I have been notified by her doctor that she has between 2 weeks to 2 months to live.” All I could think of is how many different emotions Dr. Radcliffe must be going through and what would I do if that ever happened to me with the one person on earth that I care for the most. How do you show them that you care for them at a time like this? Where would you take them and what would you do in their last days? How can you ease the pain? My prayers go out to his wife, Dr. Radcliffe, and their family.

Dr. Radcliffe’s story definitely keeps me back in check of how precious life is and how many days we take for granted. It helps me reevaluate my day and see how much of it actually serves purpose and what pieces of it can be chipped away. It reinforces to me if I’m actually living life to the fullest. It reminds me of my father who passed away just over 10 years ago, who still gives me the strength to move forward. Fortunately, we have yet another today, but unfortuantely we will never quite reach tomorrow….

SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR DAYS LEFT WERE NUMBERED?

To anyone who recently lost someone dear to them

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No, it isn’t fair. It never is. Don’t dwell on why they are not here, but rather celebrate the great life they have lived here on Earth. Don’t think it’s bad to cry, after at all, how often do you lose someone dear to you? Don’t seek for sympathy, but rather seek for strength and humility. Make it a goal to grow deeper in your relationship with your self, family, friends, and most important Our Father Above. Here’s my story:

I lost my father on a Tuesday morning in April when I was only 12 years old. Unfortunately, I was there to witness it all as it happened. In fact, I was the only one there. He passed away from a heart attack at age 59. At age 12, how can someone cope with a lost so great?

I needed a father figure in my life to teach me how to tie a tie, to fix that leaking roof, to give me that father-to-son talk, to learn how to lead a family. I cried there on my mom’s bed with my sister for hours waiting for my mom and brother to return from the hospital praying he would be alright. There was nothing else I knew better to do but cry there.

I knew the harder I cried, the worst I felt. However, I knew each tear that came out would just show how much I cared for him and how much he so genuinely cared for me. You see, my father wanted the best for me. He started a small laundry mat in hopes that he could provide for our family. He casted his net each morning in the canal so we would have extra food on the table. He sacrificed everything so his kids could live a little better. He was a man that didn’t need much to be happy, just his family and the simple things in life.

My mom ended up working two full-time jobs because of the loss. She even worked overtime most weekends to pay for the mortgage. We tried our hardest to make sure she would come home from those 16 hours of work that day in peace. My mom only asked for us to keep the house clean, make good grades, and that we stay good kids. I wish we would’ve tried harder.

As I was laying there in my bed crying for the second day straight. Some came in my room the entire day speechless. Some came to give me a hug, and some just an “I’m sorry…”. I tried to be strong, to keep my mind off of it, to even pretend it never happened. But as soon as I came back to reality that my father wasn’t coming back, the tears started to come out again.

That day God spoke to me and asked me one question that changed my life forever. He said, “What would your father want you to do?” I could either keep dwelling on how my father wasn’t here or I could use this experience to inspire me to be the best Peter I could possibly live on this earth. I would study harder in school because of him. I would practice my basketball even longer to prove to the bigger kids that I could play. I would try to be the best son I could possibly be. I would continue to keep learning and trying new things. I would live a life with reason, not just out of mere existence. I would begin a deeper relationship with the Father Above because He is the only one that could give me this sort of strength. I would work harder in everything I did because that’s exactly what I knew my father would have wanted me to do. And because of all of this, this is who I am now.

I’m not at all thankful that my father died, rather grateful that with each obstacle and challenge and trial we face in our life, that God somehow always seems to provide a way to make us stronger because of it.

Dad, as you look down from Above, thank you for loving and caring and sacrificing for us. Hope you are proud.

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us”– Romans 5:3-5

Failure is not trying

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The fear of failure is powerful. Nobody wants to reveal to others, or to themselves, that they were not capable of doing something they tried to do.

This fear can be used as a source of motivation to keep you working hard toward your goals. Yet this same fear offers a convenient escape clause. You can never fail if you don’t bother to try.

Not trying is, of course, the ultimate failure, for it means you can never make progress toward your goals.

So if it’s trying to muster the courage to ask that girl out or trying out for the basketball team, whatever the fear may be, don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is a part of life, use it to make your skin thicker and yourself stronger.

When asked to describe significant regrets in their lives, more than eight out of ten people focused on actions they did not take rather than actions they did. In other words, they focused on things they failed to do rather than things they failed at doing.

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