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What most people would love to have to be more goal-oriented, provide better quality output, or have a higher standard in life, I think over the past year, I have nearly perfected the art of perfectionism. My life is so balanced, so routine, that when I deviate anything elsewise, I get disheartened, uneasy, and strive to be even more perfect. I tend to forget to enjoy the moment and the greater things in life as I’m always striving for something more. I need contentment.

After doing much research, I’ve learned the problems of perfectionism and have slowly seen it seep through in all aspects of my life. I will not get close to many people because I don’t want them to see any of my imperfections. I have not only an unrealistic expectation for myself, but it’s downfall is that I do the same unknowingly for other people, as well. Biblically, perfectionist tend to be more like Pharisees. “You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.” (Matthew 23:24) We tend to nit-pick on all the small mistakes of ourselves and others, we most of the time miss the bigger picture altogether.

Although I claim to overcome the fear of failure, but I live my life never wanting to never make any small mistake, which in turn, never sets me up for any failure. Perfectionism is paralyzing. At times we perfectionists are aware that we fight a losing battle. We know that our best efforts can never produce our idealistic dreams. “Even if I’m good at this,” we think, “I may not be very good; I may not be the best.”

Afraid of not winning all the battles, we win none of them. Afraid of not being the very best, we fail to achieve our personal best. Unwilling to put up with life’s frequent imperfections, we experience little of life’s just-as-frequent joys.

I have a problem…there…I finally realized I had one to admit it. But I’m not going to sit there and complain, I’m going to do something about it. Perhaps this is me trying to perfect the imperfections of perfectionisms, but I know what I need to do to overcome this. So, today, I am spending the entire week trying to be imperfect. I have made a “Screw up list” to try and make as many mistakes, get out of my everyday norm, and just live life imperfectly…